Becoming a Better Spouse

As I sit here on my couch, pondering life and all it's ups and downs, I think a lot about my marriage.  As my health problems have increased and my abilities wane, I have to stop and really remember what marriage and life is all about.  If I didn't I would get really depressed!  When you're at a place in life where you aren't sure how long you're still going to be around it really puts things in perspective.

What if today was your last day here on earth?  Or your last month or year?  I found this picture that sums up my thoughts.

I think the message of this quote can apply to pretty much EVERY relationship in our lives, but especially with our spouses.  While realistically we all need a little constructive criticism and help from each other in our lives, we need to know where that fine line is.  Are we angry with the imperfections of our spouse or are we "really" trying to help?  Only you can know the answer but if you can't answer that, chances are you should stop the behavior for the sake of your marriage.  The trick here for me is to follow this advice myself!

I hope all who read this will take a moment today to thank their spouse for all they do.  At least for today, don't worry about all that they don't do or what they do imperfectly.  Now is the time to let them know how much  you care and how much you love and appreciate them.  If you don't take the opportunity, you don't know when it could be too late.

xoxo ~ Ellie

CIICO - About Us Chronically Ill Cat Lovers...

What is "CIICO" you ask?  It's what me and millions of others are currently suffering from here on the internet - Chronic Illness Induced Cat Obsession.  Is it a serious illness?  Well...define "serious".  LOL 

I've noticed there are so many of us "spoonies" or those suffering some type of chronic illness that are completely obsessed with our cute fuzzy critters!  So much so that I've decided to call it CIICO.  (Hey, at least I think its funny.  Maybe that's just my tired brain for ya.)  

In my official opinion, there are two stages of CIICO:

• Stage I - Enjoying pictures of other people's cute kitties.
• Stage II - Posting endless amounts of pictures of your own furry kitty kid.

So far I am still just in Stage I but on the edge of entering Stage II.  Let us all hope that I don't enter into Stage II too soon or beware - it will never end!  My kitty is SOOO cute!  That's what all pet parents say but it's for sure true about my furry kitty girl.  

So, let us all continue to share the furry joy and cuteness that is our kitties and other animals!  This so we can spread cheer from sofa to sofa across the nation (and prevent me from feeling the need of clogging cyber space with all those endless pictures of my cat I have on my cell phone)!

xoxo ~Ellie

Just Begin - Musings of a "New" Writer

I've always wanted to write a book.  Some of my earliest memories are of myself typing away on my parents' old "dinosaur" computer writing short stories.  I loved using the typewriter too.  *sigh*  Those were the days!  Have I mentioned I love the sound of typing?  That may be beside the point, but I love the sound of typing (and clapping, but that's another thing).  

Anyway back to my point!  I've always wanted to write a book - a novel, a picture book, pretty much any type of book!  The idea of creating something amazing just from words alone intimidates me, however.  I worry that my characters and plot won't be interesting, I worry that I won't be able to have enough dialog and ideas to make it any normal length, the list  of worries could go on and on!

With the deterioration of my health especially these last few years, more than ever I have wanted to write.  The one downfall:  writing takes energy both in the mind and body.  On the flip side, creating something can invigorate and (to a degree) energize even someone with serious health issues like me.  

This brings me to where I am today: ready to write!  I don't care if it isn't perfect, if it's boring, if no one but me ever reads it once it's completed.  I just want to start and finish something and learn new skills along the way.  I hope you'll join in with me on my writing journey!  I welcome any tips or pointers along the way that may help me complete my goal and find success!  

Here I go!

Self Acceptance

Recently I came across an AMAZING blog post that has changed how I view my life called Drops of Awesome.  I don't know the person who wrote it, but I got to thinking about the great message they shared and how it has helped me and so many others out there in cyber land!  The following post from me contains my own thoughts about self acceptance, but I need to give credit to the author of the Drops of Awesome post because without reading that I may not have written this. 

Self Acceptance

I want you to look in the mirror today. Really look. This is the body your Heavenly Father gave you. It isn't perfect, and maybe you don't like different parts for various reasons, but it's the body that you have been given. No person or body is perfect, despite what we see in the media, or what we think when we look at other people. More than likely you're doing your best to take care of your body. Your best is NOT going to look like someone else's best. EVER. And that's okay! Is there something you could change or do better? Of course there is, that's life. But there is no need to beat yourself up about not being perfect or even close to it.

Not all of us were built to run marathons or climb mountains. Maybe you have health problems (like me) and can’t hardly get out of bed, or go get your mail, let alone taking a shower or cooking most days! There is a reason that our Heavenly Father has counseled us to not run faster or labor more than we have strength. Everyone is in a different place in their lives, with different abilities and health levels.

If our bodies were intended to remain perfect throughout life, then skin issues, stretch marks, cellulite and wrinkles and other health problems wouldn't exist! We would all have similar experiences because none of us would be very different from each other, and so we wouldn't learn some of life's greatest lessons: self acceptance, appreciation, tolerance, and gratitude. It is important for us all to develop an attitude of gratitude for the blessings of having a body and a life to live, even if with your current body and circumstances don’t allow you to do in life the same things others can do.  

In conclusion, what I want to be taken to heart from this is that when you do your best, it is YOUR best.  Not someone else's best, so stop comparing yourself to others!  You aren't doing yourself any favors, even if you compare yourself to others under the guise of self improvement.  A lot of us would be much happier if we stopped measuring ourselves with someone else's ruler and just accepted ourselves as we are.

The Journey of Life

It’s funny how the road of life can take you in so many different directions. Sometimes there are wrong turns, roads you didn’t even know existed, flat tires, lots of bumps in the road, and major detours. You can get frustrated about all the detours this road has, or you can do your best and end up exactly where you needed to be, despite the frustration of things not going as planned. Sometimes the road that you didn’t plan on driving down can give you some of the best learning experiences. It’s all an important part of the journey of life.

A Little Lesson on Forgiveness

A little lesson for us all about forgiveness:

Sometimes the problem isn't that someone hasn't forgiven you.  The issue may be that they aren't able to handle any more pain at your hand and are protecting themselves.  It isn't always about you.

My Story

My Story

I don't feel ready to die. There are so many things I haven't had the chance to experience yet. To leave now would make me feel like I had too much unfinished business to let go and move on. As if it wasn't enough to not have a normal childhood, imagine knowing that you won't get to grow old, have children, or see the world. I was lucky to meet my husband, my forever love, at a young age. I'm happy to have experienced love in my life before it comes to an end. I know I'll be with him forever, but the idea of parting for even a brief time pains me terribly.

Some days death seems close, like an old familiar friend coming to visit. The quiet comes on easily, trying to take me away to the world beyond. I don't know when the end will come. It could come tonight, tomorrow, or years from now. Sometimes I delude myself and try to put on a hopeful attitude that I'll be cured and I'll be able to grow old here.

This is my place to leave pieces of my heart, and my story of hope, pain, sadness, and love. This is me.