I don't feel ready to die. There are so many things I haven't had the chance to experience yet. To leave now would make me feel like I had too much unfinished business to let go and move on. As if it wasn't enough to not have a normal childhood, imagine knowing that you won't get to grow old, have children, or see the world. I was lucky to meet my husband, my forever love, at a young age. I'm happy to have experienced love in my life before it comes to an end. I know I'll be with him forever, but the idea of parting for even a brief time pains me terribly.
Some days death seems close, like an old familiar friend coming to visit. The quiet comes on easily, trying to take me away to the world beyond. I don't know when the end will come. It could come tonight, tomorrow, or years from now. Sometimes I delude myself and try to put on a hopeful attitude that I'll be cured and I'll be able to grow old here.
This is my place to leave pieces of my heart, and my story of hope, pain, sadness, and love. This is me.