Thursday, March 27, 2014

Invisible Illness

This is what it can feel like to have an invisible illness of any kind. Whether you have Heart Failure, MS, ME/CFS, Depression, or another "invisible" illness, hang in there my friends!
"invisible Illness" by

Monday, February 10, 2014

Hanging in There

So it's been a long time since I've posted.  My health has had a lot more ups and downs than I would like but I'm trying to hang in there and stay positive.

I've been trying to do more art and post it to my Deviant Art profile.  I've been trying to learn Photoshop on my own and I've been making slow but steady progress.

I decided that for my printables/subway art stuff I'd post it on a separate blog since it is more of a Pinterest type of thing rather than Deviant Art.

Anyway, hopefully I will be feeling a little more up to blogging now that the yuckiest part of winter is over.

XOXO ~Ellie

New Printables Blog!

I've started a new blog (I will still post personal stuff on this one) that has free uplifting printables. 

The address is:

Today I've posted some that are religious, but I will also be posting some positive non-religious printables very soon.

Also, just a reminder that you see my other artwork at, and you can follow me on Twitter @EllieBeeElise

Thank you so much for reading!


Sunday, May 19, 2013

Ayurvedic Triphala and Arjuna

I've been having such a struggle with my health, especially these last few years, and I feel that I've had so many "failed" attempts to improve my health.  When something works and works WELL, I want to share that success with others.

Although I'm grateful for some aspects of modern medicine, the most healing medicines that have come into my own life over the years have been alternative and ancient Chinese or Indian medicines.

These past few years, especially this last one, I've had an extra difficult struggle with my heart (after a lifetime full of heart issues) and have felt like I'm at the end of my rope.  I've been doing my best to try and cling on to my life.  Some days and moments things can still be pretty touch and go and be quite scary with my heart and other organs not doing well.

This last December, I felt directed along with my friend, who also has the same heart and other health issues as me, to start taking some specific homeopathic remedies after much prayer and research.  These have helped us greatly.  The ones we've found to be best are Boiron's homeopathic pellet remedies.  I've been taking Baryta Carbonica, Magnesia Phosphorica, and Lycopodium.  (My friend took Digitalis in place of Baryta Carbonica for her remedies.)  I know that without these medicines available to me this past winter I wouldn't still be here.  The remedies have helped us with things ranging from severe chest pain, aceites, and edema, along with other issues related to our heart failure symptoms.  Recently when I started having kidney problems, I've taken Kali Phosphoricum and had great results as well.

When my friend and I were continuing to have severe problems despite the help from the homeopathics we were taking, we researched other alternatives we could look into and kept feeling drawn to Ayurvedic remedies feeling like the answer was somewhere in that realm.  After much research and prayer we were both impressed to start taking the Ayurvedic remedy Arjuna. We purchased it from a company called Himalaya.  (I've been impressed with their quality for many years with other remedies such as one called Menstricare for "that time of the month".  Highly recommend it.)

Back on track here, to make a long story short about the Arjuna, over the past couple of months since we ordered and started taking the Arjuna mid to late March, both my friend and I have seen improvement in the strength of our hearts.  We've still had issues but aren't quite as close to kicking the bucket as we had been, although nothing is ever certain when you have end stage congestive heart failure.

Recently my friend found out about another Ayurvedic remedy while she was researching called Triphala.  It combines three fruits into a remedy that is so helpful for many people that in ancient Indian culture there is a saying that says something like "If you don't have a mother, don't worry you have Triphala".

My friend and I ordered some from the same Himalaya company and started taking it yesterday. You take it just once a day before a meal. I just took my second dose a little over an hour ago, and I am laying in bed feeling blood flow in parts of my leg that I haven't felt in many months. I hadn't realized how numb my leg and foot were!  One of Triphala's many benefits is help with circulation. I've had faith that I would have good results from taking the Triphala but this is amazing! I can FEEL my leg and foot!!! After only the second dose too! Crazy amazing!

Anyways, I am VERY excited to see what this remedy does for my health and will keep you all posted on this blog. Just imagine, if this remedy is giving me such big results so quickly, who knows what it could do for you?  There are so many benefits to Triphala that it's hard to keep track of them all, but I will hopefully feel well enough to gather some of the Triphala benefits and list them in a new post soon.

XOXO ~ Ellie Elise

Friday, March 8, 2013

Creating Your Own Hope

I've been really not doing well lately.  I have stage IV heart failure (and yes you CAN be alive with that.  It doesn't mean you're dead already, but it doesn't bode well for the future.)  

That being said, things can feel pretty hopeless.  My chances of living beyond this next year are not good, and if I do then they're pretty much zippo for the year beyond that.  I'm not trying to be depressing, but it is pretty sad when statistics are in my face like that.  

This is where I've come to realize, you have to create your own hope.  Otherwise, it would be really easy to just give up.  It would be easier to not get so down if I was able to do more and didn't feel so poorly most of the time.  I just have so much to LIVE for!  I don't want to leave my husband and family behind - I still have so many things I want to experience in life!  My prayers are pretty much "Please, I'm not done yet!" in not those exact words of course.

What makes my situation harder is that my very BEST friend in the whole world is in the same boat as me.  She also has stage IV heart failure and even had a heart attack this last fall.  I worry so much that one or both of us won't be here much longer and I can't bear to think of that fact.  We do our best to lift each others spirits through texts and the amount of seeing each other we're able to do here and there.  

So my hope for my friend and I is that we will be able to somehow, some way beat this and LIVE!  By creating our own hope since the statistics for us are totally in the toilet so to speak, maybe we can have a fighting chance!  I believe that through prayer and faith all things are possible!  That doesn't mean that things always go how you hope or that your prayers are answered in the way that you desire, however.  But I say we have got to do our best to try.  That's all we CAN do.

I would appreciate any prayers, good thoughts, good vibes, whatever on mine and my friend's behalf.  (((Cyber HUG)))

xoxo ~ Ellie Elise

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Days Like Today...

Today was my husband's birthday and it brought up a lot of emotions for me.  As I wrote in his birthday card, I wrote things that I would normally write, such as, "I'm so happy to grow old with you!" and things like that.  Now more than ever I am faced with the fact that I might not be here next year or even next month, so it really hit me today.  

I want to be here next year and next month, just to be clear.  I don't want to have my chronic illnesses and heart problems win.  I want to LIVE.  Even if my "living" is like it is now (which I could consider sub-par living but I'm too grateful to be alive to really think that.)

I don't have the energy or health (let alone the means!) to do a whole bunch of elaborate celebrating these days, so I chose to do something meaningful for my husband instead.  I decided that I could write on little sticky notes and place them all around the house in places that my husband looks each day.  On these sticky notes I wrote reasons why I'm glad he was born (one thing for each year of his life).  It really meant a lot to him as he discovered the little notes and remembered how much I love him.  I gave him some gifts later in the day of course, but when I look at things from the perspective of where my life and health is at, I think him being reminded of my love for him is the most important gift I could have given him!

I have all these memories come flooding back on days like today of good times with family, friends, and other loved ones and it can really tug at my heart.  It reminds me what is truly important in life.  When I look at how things are now: estranged from family, friends, and all (mostly) because of my health, it's really sad.  I'm not estranged from people completely because of my health problems, but the health problems do cause me to not have the ability to handle all the drama and other issues going on with people and their various situations.

On days like today I remember what it's like to have good memories be made and how great that can be.  I also know and remember what it's like to have the chance for those types of experiences be taken from you (through no fault of your own) and how painful that can be.  

On days like today...I am grateful for the family members that I DO have in my life and for the good friends I do have contact with, even if more of them are in cyber space than anywhere else!  

On days like today, I am grateful to still be HERE.  Alive, breathing, and my heart beating.  Even if my heart and body is struggling, I am still here. 

xoxo ~ Ellie

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Becoming a Better Spouse

As I sit here on my couch, pondering life and all it's ups and downs, I think a lot about my marriage.  As my health problems have increased and my abilities wane, I have to stop and really remember what marriage and life is all about.  If I didn't I would get really depressed!  When you're at a place in life where you aren't sure how long you're still going to be around it really puts things in perspective.

What if today was your last day here on earth?  Or your last month or year?  I found this picture that sums up my thoughts.

I think the message of this quote can apply to pretty much EVERY relationship in our lives, but especially with our spouses.  While realistically we all need a little constructive criticism and help from each other in our lives, we need to know where that fine line is.  Are we angry with the imperfections of our spouse or are we "really" trying to help?  Only you can know the answer but if you can't answer that, chances are you should stop the behavior for the sake of your marriage.  The trick here for me is to follow this advice myself!

I hope all who read this will take a moment today to thank their spouse for all they do.  At least for today, don't worry about all that they don't do or what they do imperfectly.  Now is the time to let them know how much  you care and how much you love and appreciate them.  If you don't take the opportunity, you don't know when it could be too late.

xoxo ~ Ellie